Brum's all-you-can-eats
If one of the tabloids happened to feature ‘The Unhealthiest City in Britain’ as their survey-of-the-week-to-quote-endlessly, Brum probably wouldn’t come up trumps. We love our curries, fish’n’chips, take-outs, pizzas, if it’s swimming in grease, we’ll have a dip. Surprising then that the city ain’t so big on all-you-can-eats. For every pig-out palace, there’s probably ten baltis- we said probably, you conduct the survey if you’re that bothered. Chinese is where it’s at for a pig out and the China Town area around Hurst Street is the place to go. A couple of others further afield will transport you to far off lands. If you ever leave the loo.
Best for having an eating showdown
Big Wok
5 Wrottesley Street, B5 4RT
(0121) 666 6800
If quality is no object and triumph is everything, Big Wok’s the obvious venue for your eating challenge. There’s about a hundred dishes to choose from so it’s unlikely to run out anytime soon, even with the county champion taking part. What’s more, the toilet facilities should withstand the aftermath. It’s by no means gourmet and you are herded around like deep-fried, soy-sauce-covered cattle, but at a fiver a head, you’d be a prize idiot to complain. If it’s good enough for broke students and lager louts out to line their stomachs, it’s good enough for us. What it lacks in quality, it makes up for in choice. Even little madam over there’ll find something she likes, or she’ll wish she had when gets a swift poke in the eye from Itchy’s chopstick.
All-you-can-eat: £5 before 5pm and £9 after
Mon-Sat, 12pm-11.30pm; Sun, 12pm-11.30pm
House wine, £8.90
Best for those in denial (ie somewhere where people on health-kicks can pretend they’re not super-sizing themselves)
Tai Pan
41-43 Hurst Street, B5 4DJ
(0121) 622 2287
Unless you want to visit a well-known department store and eat pre-packaged sushi out of a plastic tub, it’s a bit of a challenge finding good sushi in the centre of Birmingham. So a buffet full of the stuff and ready to be devoured, scores Tai Pan some points on the Itchy score board. Eating all the sushi you want, though, is a bit like binging on rice cakes, it’d take a truckload before you’re full to bursting. So health freaks will love this place, they can stuff themselves politely, and in small chunks. The Japanese treatment, usually reserved for origami, is standard here, with everything perfectly formed and immaculately presented. Just remember to bow when you leave.
All-you-can-eat: 1pm-4pm, £6
Mon-Sat, 1pm-11pm; Sun, 1pm-10pm
House wine, £10.50
Best for spending the whole day in (ie, taking in breakfast, dinner and lunch)
Lychee Garden
189 Hagley Road, Edgbaston, B16 9RD
(0121) 454 2734
Lychee Garden is probably the best of the lot, but there’s two things it’s lacking: breakfast and lychees. Other than those crimes against food, there’s very little to fault this place for and you can happily enjoy a couple of meals here. It stands out from the rest as you order as many dishes as you want off the menu and it’s served right to your table by the very friendly staff. So you don’t even need the energy to haul yourself over to the buffet. Another tick in the all-you-can-eat box. Compared to the other restaurants, Lychee Garden seems pricey but here, you definitely get what you pay for. Except for lychees.
All-you-can-eat menu: Sun-Thu, £11.75 for adults, £8.80 for children; Fri-Sat, £12.95 for adults, £10 for children
Mon-Sun, 12pm-1.45pm; Mon-Thu, 5.30pm-11.30pm; Fri-Sat, 5.30pm-12pm; Sun, 5.30pm-11pm
House wine: £8
Best for sneakily filling up yer Tupperware
Tin Tin
Brindley Place, B1 2HL
(0121) 633 0888
Tin Tin rely on their loyal following of customers to decide that dinner just isn’t enough and they need a lunch time fix. There’s plenty to go round and it’s just as good as Tin Tin’s regular menu, which is very good Cantonese food. If you take after Tin Tin himself and you’re always on the move, they have the very convenient Buffet Box ’n’ Go offer for £3.95 a box. So there’s no need to take your own. They think of everything these days.
All-you-can-eat buffet: Mon-Fri, 12pm-2pm, £5.50
Mon-Sun, 12pm-2.30pm (last orders 2.10pm); Mon-Fri, 5.30pm-11.40pm (last orders 11.10pm); Sat-Sun, 5.30pm-11pm (last order 10.40pm)
House wine, £10.90
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