Merchant Stores

"Mr Store, having heard the overwhelming evidence put before me by the prosecution and having seen your, quite frankly, pathetic defence crumble before my very eyes, I have no alternative but to find you guilty, as charged, of causing severe ear injury to the poor residents of Birmingham. As this is your first offence, and considering the excellent value for money food you offer, I shall be lenient with you; I suggest 8 weeks community service, to give you time to reflect on your actions and the opportunity to give something back to the good people of Birmingham that have suffered so much. However, I expect you to clean up your act, for should I ever see you before me again I shall lock you up and throw away the key... "

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